“Time for pie.” The dinner was eaten in silence as usual, save for grace and blessings, but now the plates had been cleared it was time for dessert. Mom was beaming as she brought out her piece de resistance from the oven. “Everyone loves a slice of pie don’t they? And you can bet your backend I’ve made cherry for this special night.”
Yep, they weren’t subtle, thought Alex. The day was almost over, the day was about to begin. Al and Alex already had their fill of big talks for the day, but wish in one hand and shit in the other, their parents were saving up the final one. Mom placed the pie dish on the table, but didn’t sit back down again. Instead, she stood beside Pop and rested her hand on his shoulder.
“Your pie has always been tastiest, my dear,” said Pop. Both husband and wife smirked at each other. Alex felt her everything flush. Did all parents make their children squirm like this, or just theirs? Alex’s eyes rolled into her tits, while Al just kept looking down at the table, hands clenched.
Mom began the speech. This was unusual. “You may have thought you heard this story before, but tonight of all nights is a good time to tell it again. As you may know, when you actually listen, your father and I have known each other since, well, forever.”
“Since we were kids,” said Pop. “We really were childhood sweethearts, as corny as that may sound to you cool teenagers now. I always knew my s… your mother, was the one for me.”
“And I always knew your father was the only man I wanted between my…”
“Jeezus Mom!” Al slammed his fists on the table. “We don’t need the gory details.”
“Hey, no blaspheming in this house, young man.” Pop was stern, then softened as his wife ran her fingers through his hair. “We just want you to know that we always knew what the other was thinking, even… especially back then. Like true family. You see, we were the first season of lambing, it was how we came together.”
Alex narrowed her eyes to see if they smirked at that one. She couldn’t tell. Mom picked up the story. “I was so grateful it was your father who found me that fateful night, because well, anything could have happened. Just imagine if someone else had got to me first. Things may have turned out very different and you may not be who you are now.”
Back to Pop. “I raced to find your mother, like the devil had my tail, to get to her first. Luckily, it was because we both knew each other so well that we both knew where to go, where we could find each other. If I hadn’t, well, I think it would have just killed me.”
“And I would have just died if it hadn’t been him,” said Mom. “We truly were Romeo and Juliet.”
“You know they were underage and both died right?” said Alex. Mom rolled her eyes as well as her daughter and tutted. “Oh Alexandra, not everything is woke.”
“Look, the point we’re trying to make is real simple,” said Pop. “If you want to be together… uh, with anyone… then tonight really is the night. This is special, this will affect the rest of your lives and you want to do it right.” Mom sniggered. “In all ways.”
Fuck me backwards, thought Alex, put a pipe in it. She thought she understood the point they were making, but didn’t want to listen, so phased out until the whittering became a drone and they were finally allowed to leave.
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